halfhearted apologies for the lack of news will not be forthcoming. It was your fault, not mine. The whole "artist imparts wisdom and inspiration to the audience" schtick is so fucking tired, especially when it is always a one-way conversation. The beautiful music and pithy commentary doesn't grow on trees, and with that in mind, I'm in discussion with my colleagues at Pfizer about a pay-pay-view venture that will revolutionize the world of rarely-visited experimental music web sites. For a monthly (recurring) fee of $4.95, patrons of Parallelism.com will have access to a 24-7 webcam, displaying the label's overstock . At any given moment (sometimes, two or three times a month), a box might be opened and a package will be prepared for some lucky person. The rest of the time, the boxes just kind of sit around.

Thrills don't come cheap. A similar webcam view, showing the inner workings of the craniums of Rik Rawlings, S. Jaworzyn or some sniveling shit from Memphis, TN, wouldn't reveal much more in the way of excting activity. Our extended honeymoon with the members of the Fourth Estate came to a crashing conclusion earlier this year, with remarkably negative coverage in the pages of The Sound Projector, Resonance and The Cimmaron Weekend. These gentlemen are more than entitled to their screwy opinions and blatant prejudices, but perhaps they'd be doing their tiny readerships some justice if full disclosure was employed. To wit, prior to publication of said reviews, Parallelism was contacted by each of the above regarding the purchase of advertising space. No such advertisements were purchased.

Am I suggesting that the publishers and writers of these esteemed periodicals are so petty, they would let advertising revenue play any part in their editorial coverage? I don't know, probably not. It could be a total coincidence. Perhaps I could've purchased the inside front cover of each magazine and the reviews would've been just as bad. But it does make one wonder. Fuck, it makes ME wonder --- especially when I think about how almost without exception, all of the prominent coverage Parallelism and ATC titles have received has been in publications (The Wire, Ptolemaic Terrascope, Oppobrium, Smash Hits) that received our advertising funds. Either that, or the publications were edited (or the reviews were written) by persons I've known socially or professionally.

What I'm trying to say is, the whole thing is a scam. To reprint reviews on this site, to quote these accolades in sales solicitation notes, is only perpetuating the fraud further. If there is someone out there with the critical faculties and content of character to review our recordings solely on their musical merits (or lack therof), hip fucking hooray, you're one in a million. Everyone else (and in this case, it really is "everyone else"), can go get fucked. Unless you know me socially or professionally, in which case you are doubly invited to go get fucked.

OK, is it time to start selling stuff again? 'Whisper Number', the fifth Air Traffic Controllers album and the first in the series to feature a) two men, b) recordings that took place in a London reversal room, c) dope-ass beats, will be out 4-real in mid October. And the part about the dope-ass beats is a lie. 'Rewatching', from Anti:clockwise (aka Robert Dennis of Tono-Bungay) will also be available at the same time. 'Tuesday Night Music Series : U-Sound Vol. 1' is still on tap, though it now looks like it will be a double CD collection. November maybe? Ask me in a month and I'll have a new excuse (promise).

Advance selections from these fine titles will be made available on our mp3 page, along with some otherwise unreleased goodies. Starting today, you can check out "The Guitar Mash Down", from anti:clockwise, and you can hear an AMP Studio reinvention of an old ATC track from 'Existence Period'.

As always, there are some live performances below that you are encouraged to check out. UK readers should be advised that our friends from Portland, Jackie-O Motherfucker will be visiting these shores for the first time in Septmber, and more news will be posted on the bulletin board.

Other than that, you can amuse yourself with some of the recomendations below. I've been looking high and low (mostly low) for a drummer to replace the esteemed Mr. Steele. Sadly, Motley Crue are looking for a drummer as well and as you might imagine, there are only so many talented musicians to go around (and I'm not just gonna be thrilled with one of their rejects). More news on this front next time around (or maybe not).

Until then, if I do not have a chance to speak or write to some of you individually, it is probably because I don't want to!

with love, Gerard Cosloy, 23 August 2000

events you might attend.

24 August - Derek Bailey / Simon Fell, Mark Wastalt, Will Gaines, Klinker at Sussex Pub, N1, London
25 August - Alan Wilkinson / Steve Noble, Klinke at Sussex Pub N1, London
31 August - Tony Wren Trio w/ Eddie Prevost & Alan Tomlinson, Vortex, London

31 August - Gold Sparkle Electric Band, Tonic,107 Norfolk Street, New York City
01 September - Jake Mandall / Safety Scissors, Knitting Factory, 63 Leonard St., New York City
01 September - Anti Pop Consortium, Old Office, 63 Leonard St., NYC
13 September - Jackie-O Motherfucker, The Garage, London
05 October - Fennesz / Kaffe Matthews, ICA, London
06 October - Hallucinator, Jan Jelinek, ICA London
07 October - SND / Vert, ICA London

heavy sounds for light moments :

Sebastian Escfet - Meditaciones CD, Max Tundra - "Ink Me" (Domino). Eleventh Dream Day - Stalled Parade (Thrill Jockey), Kaffe Matthews / Haley Newman - Pointy Stunt (Audioview), Stradhoughton Echo - The North American Foxhunter, (Roxton Towers Educational Music Series), Blectum From Blechdom - The Messy Jesse Fiesta (Deluxe), Shellac - 1000 Hurts (T&G).

clunk vs. clank , 21/4/2000

Has any period in this label's short history been so uneventful, so unremarkable? Check back in 5 months and we'll see what we can do about it.

to summarize 6 weeks of anguish and artistic atrohpy ---

1) new Air Traffic Controllers LP/CD 'Whisper Number' (PAR 008) has been pushed back to June 2000, as artwork clearance issues continue to plague our production department. It seems as though actor Daniel Baldwin has objected to our use of a photograph that may or may not feature portions of his body. Possibly his head, hard to tell. This is very annoying, in that I had already hoped to be refering to this album as "outdated" and "not nearly as good as the new stuff" by mid-summer. The obligatory disparagement of a new recording (often prompted by insincere, stilted "praise") cannot begin until September or October at the earliest, and it will be hard to find the time.

2) ATC "live action" doesn't live up to Whitehouse (or White Flag) standards. Upstairs At The Garage, 16/3/2000.

To paraphrase U.S. Senator John McCain, Jon Steele spent the evening in a hotel that didn't leave mints by his pillow. With Steele indisposed/unavailable, the goodlooking member of the duo was forced to (ahem) improvise all by his lonesome. On an evening that exclusively featured white guys playing with themselves (but enough about the audience), a hastily assembled set of guitar & programmed music failed to result in riot or acclaim. Superior performances by AMP Studio and Capitol K were the bread around the ATC meat. For those who turned up late and/or demanded free entry, I salute you. There will be future live events in London, though not until we find out what's up with those missing mints.

3) U-Sound / Tuesday Night Music Series nearing One-Year Anniversary of first promised release date.
Y'know, Tom Greenwood has spent a night or 2 in a hotel that didn't leave mints by the pillow, so losing the race for the Republican Presidential nomination is no skin off his nose. If you want to take skin off someone's nose, I'd suggest using an xacto knife, much more effective than voting. Anyhow, the U-Sound comp. has finally entered the stage of artwork being argued/debated over, so yeah, this will happen. Someday. For real. There are literally acres of recorded media to shift through. Perhaps you are quicker at shifting than Tom, I really don't know.

4) Anticlockwise CD (PAR 009) coming this summer.
Robert Dennis' musical contributions as a member of Tono Bungay and Fire In the Kitchen have made him a much beloved figure to literally dozens of people. Anything larger than 23 qualifies as dozens, we've looked it up. A CD of Dennis' solo work under the Anticlockwise name will be coming later this year. If you're lucky enough to live in the pacific northwest, you can catch Anticlockwise in action on May 24 at the Milk Bar in beautiful Portland, OR.

as the Parallelism.com server is moved from the clutches of an ugly, irresponsible rental firm run by evil, impotent old persons (and into the safe hands of bright, dashing creative geniuses like ourselves), there are some temporary glitches. Our MP3 section will be out-of-order until approx. May 1, but there will be some new stuff available at that time.

With the complete and utter collapse of former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop's Dr. Koop.com, the General himself has graciously given up 3 or 4 minutes of his valuable time to offer his personal tips on the very serious subject of premature ejaculation.

rgasm prevention / delay techniques (from a Doctor) :
* -" try to remember famous lineups, like the '86 Mets (trying to place Rafael Santana should put you off for at least 20 minutes), or the 5 piece Clash that toured behind 'Cut The Crap'.
* - "if that doesn't work, see if you can remember the Presidential order of succession. Just 'cause Alexander Haig couldn't do it under duress doesn't mean you can't manage. Do you know how many people have to die before the Surgeon General gets the job?"
* - "concentrate on your partner instead of yourself" (editor's note - I don't think this is serious medical advice and I would discourage anyone from paying much attention).
* - "have your private bits taped up. Or removed."

hank you very much, Dr. Koop.

ive eventualisms:

over there)

April 17 - Die Like A Dog Quartet, Tonic, NYC
April 21 - Tono-Bungay, The Charleston 174 Bedford Street L train to Bedford (1st stop in Brooklyn) NYC
April 21 - Panacea, Liquid Sky, NYC
April 22 - Gold Sparkle Band, Brecht Forum, 122 W. 27th St.
May 10 - To Live & Shave In L.A., Polish National Home, 261 Driggs Ave., Brooklyn

(over here)
April 28 - Capito K, Leafcutter John, Mike Paradinas, London Arts Cafe, 020-7263-7265
May 1 - Kid 606, R.O.TA. Club (Notting Hill Arts Centre)
May 11 - Sons Of Silence, bitTonix, si(cut).dbe, The Sprawl, Global Cafe, 15 Golden Sq. , London
May 22- Fushitsusha, The Garage, 20-22 Highbury Corner, London

recomended listening :

Gas - Pop (Mille Plateux)
Cooper-Moore - Deep In The Neighborhood Of History and Influence (Hopscotch)
Steev Hise - Original (Illegal Art)
Mass - From Zero (Practile)
Marumari - The Wolves Hollow (Car Park)
Dat Politics - Villiger (A Musik)
High On Fire - The Art Of Self Defense (Man's Ruin)

as always, thank you for staring.

Gerard Cosloy, April 2000

we don't know whether to shit or go blind, 6/3/2000
And you won't either. Major earth shaking events in this camp, and I'm not just talking about my manicure. To review :

1) New Air Traffic Controllers LP/CD in May.
'Whisper Number' is the first collection of recordings from the Cosloy/Steele pairing, and a massive musical detour from the ATC sound typified by earlier albums. There is a time and place to be delicate, and when you figure out what that time and place is, please drop us a line because we've not gotten to that point yet.

2) Live activity.
Air Traffic Controllers will be playing London's Upstairs At The Garage (20-22 Highbury Corner, Highbury & Islington tube) on Thursday, March 16. We'll be joined by Capitol K and A.M.P. Studio, both of whom have excellent new recordings available on the Planet Mu and Ochre labels respectively.

3) U-Sound / Tuesday Night Music Series compilation nearing completion.
Live recordings from Jackie O-Motherfucker, Hall of Fame, Army Of Ghosts, Matthew Valentine, Michael Hurley and others, culled from 2 different month-long events at New York City's Pink Pony, curated by Jackie-O's Tom Greenwood.

4) Alan Keyes has dropped out of the Presidential race.

Good news all around. And that's not all --- more new projects from other parts of the planet (Brooklyn!) are in the works --- since Cargo have been selling so many of Parallelism's older titles (and paying for them so quickly), there's just been a surplus of cash in the war chest. I had considered donating to the Alan Keyes campaign, but it turned out I had him mixed up with Bobby Keys, a tremendous sax player, who sadly, is not running for political office. I also kicked around the notion of hiring an efficiency expert to come in and review the label operations, but was unable to find anyone who wasn't allergic to ferrets. They can call it an allergy, but it sounds like discrimination to me, plain and simple. The third discarded option was to make a large sum of money available to WFMU, but that was before I noticed that the Hound has been off the airwaves for many years.

Just to point out that this label isn't all about self-expression/indulgence, I am willing to support defacto censorship when neccessary. If any of you are considering the purchase of Ann Marlowe's latest book, Parallelism will buy you a free movie ticket ---no bargain matinees, either! --- if you change your mind (witnesses or notarized affidavits required. this offer not open to the residents of Florida, because I don't like Florida). If that isn't enough to keep this trash off the shelves, you'll receive your choice of any item from the label catalog if you can steal a copy of the book and destroy it (polaroids required. Send a polaroid of the book being destroyed too, while you're at it).

There's not much else of any substance to report. I have no idea what Ryan Noel and Brain Army are up to, although I did receive a cryptic e-mail message indicating that one or both of them are still operating on a different frequency than you or I. 'The Horror' was recently the subject of a fine review in the 4th edition of Badaboom Gramaphone, though it should be pointed out that the author/publisher of this review is named Ben Goldberg. My last name is Cosloy, formerly "Cosloyberg". This is yet another example of the Surnames Ending In Berg Media Conspiracy (see Ted Turnerberg, Bill Gatesberg, Rupert Murdochberg, etc.) that controls music journalism. It might seem self-defeating for me to bring this to your attention, but I just wanted to rub it in.

In all seriousness, ladies & gentlemen, Badadoom Gramaphone (PO Box 204, Lenoia NJ 07605) is a fine read and the current issue has stuff on the Ex, Temple Of Bon Matin and a wonderful roundtable discussion with Jim O'Rourke and Royal Trux. Perhaps it wasn't really a round table. Issue no. 4 also has an a hilliarious article entitled "Love Child : The Secret History of The Nineties Best Band" which does a wonderful job of summing up Love Child from a particularly fanatical viewpoint. Shame that the rest of the decade is so poorly covered, but lovers of sweeping generalizations and historical revisionism will have a field day with this one.

Vunyani Bunghu. Has any name ever struck as much fear into the hearts of men? Other than Ann Marlowe.

upcoming live events of note:

16 March, Quickspace, Drill Hall, London
22 March, Vladislav Delay, Tennis, D. Global Cafe, 15 Golden Sq., London W1
6 April, Terre Thamlitz, the Lux Centre, London

6 March, Dylan Group, Knitactive Soundstage, NYC
6March, Kit Clayton, Tonic, 107 Norfolk St., NYC
11 March, Odessey w/ James Blood Ulmer, Joe's Pub, NYC
14 March, Major Stars / High Rise, Tonic, NYC
28 March, Rick Brown/Sue Garner, Knitting Factory, NYC
9 April, Turing Machine, Knitting Factory, NYC

new recordings that make the Parallelism HQ a happier place:

Last Days Of May - Radiant Black Mind (Squealer)
Rob Brown Quartet - Jumping Off The Page (No More Records)
DJ Funk - "Ghetto Tek 2000" (Proxo14)
Jake Mandell - Quondam Current (Mille Plateux)
Storm And Stress - Under Thunder & Flourescent Light (Touch & Go)
Burnt Friedman & The Nu Dub Players - Just Landed (Scape)
Turing Machine - A New Machine For Living (Jade Tree)

Gerard Cosloy, 6 March 2000

newly written, 31/1/2000

Welcome to a year with 3 zeros on the end of it. We haven't had one of those in at least 999 years or since Bruce Gallanter last returned our messages, whichever came first. But never mind that, you are very welcome to the all-seeing, all-knowing Parallelism.com, where rumors of an impending merger with FuckMe.com and the Oxygen channel are not be believed. Our long term internet strategy of combining Parallelism's musical content with a comprehensive pornography portal, plus the addition of Oprah re-runs, seemed to cover all conceivable bases and demographics. Until Mr. Ringo, our esteemed CFO pointed out "there is nothing here for the goths". And he's right, you can't possibly launch an all-out assault on the eyeballs of internet users worldwide without reaching out to the coveted goth market. They're literate, have lots of disposable income, some of the effeminate looking men are very attractive, and they love staring at the computer screen. OK, their musical taste tends to suck like crazy, but we're not gonna let aesthetics get in the way of SYNERGY. Parallelism's acquisitions dept. is very open to suggestion.

The first Air Traffic Controllers performance since August '99 will take place on March 16, Upstairs At The Garage, London (Highbury tube). We'll be joined by Capitol K and guests to be determined. More details to follow.

The first ATC recordings from the new lineup of G. Cosloy and J. Steele will be available on CD and vinyl later this spring. The only thing holding this one up is focus group research to determine whether or not we should reveal our first names on the sleeve or use the ever popular first initial/last name format, as utilized by many artists successful in applying for government grants. There is also the economics impact of saving on rub-off lettering. For those of you curious what the new duo sounds like, please check out an MP3 of unreleased stuff over at http://www.parallelism.com/mp3.html

The oft-mentioned, rarely worked on Hollywood Blondes 12" is inching closer to completion. Which means there is nothing else to tell you about it. Same goes for the Wednesday Night Music Series : U-Sound Presents, Vol.1 compilation, but we're getting to it. Really.

Claire Pannell has officially relocated to the beautiful little town of Australia. I know, they told you it was a country, but it is actually a friendly little village, located just west of Japan. Or China. All correspondence can be sent to furchick@chickmail.com, unless you have something particularly vile or salacious to say (in which case you should let me have a look at it first).

Sincere thanks to Edwin Pouncey (aka "E. Pouncey") for his kind words concerning Existence Period in the latest issue of The Wire, but we would like to make it as clear as possible that the Air Traffic Controllers are not managed by a polecat. The group's business affairs were being handled by a ferret, who has recently been promoted to the position of Chief Financial Officer of Parallelism Ventures, Inc. We would've loved to see Mr. Ringo continue his fine work as manager for the band, but he had received a lucrative offer to run the internet division of Nails Ltd., the lifestyle/homemaking empire founded by former Phillies/Mets outfielder Len Dykstra. In addition to their line of paints, flatware, men's casual fashions and spread-betting advice, Nails Ltd. was about to launch a web portal of their own....so we really had no choice. Tripling Mr. Ringo's salary and offering him equity in the company was a high price to pay, but it wasn't worth watching Lenny Dykstra steal our best ideas and finest employee.

In the meantime, the Air Traffic Controllers are once again, self-managed. Prospective new managers are encouraged to send their C.V. along with a black & white 8X10" (of someone else). Polecats will be considered, as will children.

You might recall that last year at this time, this site featured a star studded cast of musicians, journalists and self-styled experts crowing long and loud about their musical favorites of the prior 12 months. After careful deliberation, I have decided not to conduct a similar poll this year because I really don't give a fuck about what these inferior minds have to say. Responses tended to fall into one of two categories, young/naive (the musical world is a wondrous place) vs. old/bitter (who can keep up with all this crap). There was a third category as well, but the drug-addled ramblings of sexually frustrated "performance artists" are hard enough to put up with in person, never mind the written word. So just shut up already! Such divergence of opinion makes it nearly impossible for Parallelism Ventures or its financial backers to identify a target audience, nor do I feel like doing anything other than eating lots of pain killers when I read this stuff. Seriously, if Eclectic For The Sake Of Itself were such a great business model, don't you think I'd be driving a nicer car?

Actually, the true story is, I cannot deal with correcting all the spelling mistakes.

this month's recommended listening :
Susie Ibarra Trio - Radiance (Hopscotch)
Bruce Russell - Maximalist Mantra Music (Crank Automotive)
So Takahashi - NuBus Written (Car Park)
Michael Mayer - Neuhouse (Kompact)
The Obsessed - Incarnate (Southern Lord)
Rick Rizzo / Tara Key -Dark Edson Tiger (Thrill Jockey)
Marianne Nowottny - Afraid Of Me (Abaton Book Co.)
Farben - "Stuck" / "Alpin" 12" (Klang)

news updates from 1999


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